B and E

I wanted to learn how to pick locks. It seemed like a good skills for the apocalypse. But then my imminently sensible boyfriend asked why I didn't just learn how to break down doors. This actually makes a lot more sense. I applaud this logic.

But before this break through, I was talking to my mom about the whole thing. She was a social worker for 40 years and she knows amazing things. Things that would blow your mind. So, when I told her I wanted to get some lock-picking tools, she told me that if you are stopped by the police in Illinois with tools for breaking and entering, they consider that probable cause (we aren't lawyers, don't over think it) and will arrest you. Wow! I had no idea. That seems very unfair, considering you can pick a lock (a bad lock) with a credit card. Being me, this really makes me want to get some lock-picking tools. I am not who the police are looking for. Ever. I could make a very convincing case for needing the tools for this blog. I really just don't like that I can't learn a skill and use my discretion in how to use it. Perhaps that seems naive. It does. I know. But knowing how to hot wire a car would be a great skill and I wouldn't use it to steal a car, but rather to save my life post-apocalypse. I am adding that skill to my list. I wonder if my mechanic would show me how? Hmmm....

Barricade a Door

1. Jam a wooden or metal chair under the doorknob. The chair will lean back with its front feet in the air. Jam the back legs of the chair back as far as you can to ensure the chair will not move.
2. Hammer wooden or rubber wedges under the door. Hammer some into the area around the doorknob as well. Hammer them down until they can go no further.
3. Move a large and heavy piece of furniture in front of the door. As with steps 1 and 2, this technique works if the door opens inward, towards you. Place the piece of furniture as close to the opening of the door as you can. Most people try to block the whole door, but right below the doorknob is the area that really counts.
   
4. Tie a rope or cord around the doorknob you want to keep shut. Tie the other end of the rope to another doorknob in the room. This will only work if the door you are trying to keep shut opens away from you. Tying this rope from one doorknob to the other gives the door an anchor. You can also anchor the door to another stable structure like a beam.
   

This seems like it would only work if people didn't really really want to get in. Additionally, the place where we live, currently, is on the 2nd of 3 floors with apartments above and below us. If those people really wanted to get in, they could come in the side windows, which are close enough to the neighbors to touch the other buildings, or come through the f-ing floor. We may have to move.